Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love- Discover 8 Types of Love

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love is a comprehensive framework that describes different types of love based on three core components- Intimacy, Passion, and Commitment. Each of these elements contributes to a unique type of relationship, and various combinations define distinct kinds of love experiences. Sternberg (1986) posited that an ideal, or “consummate,” love involves a balance of all three components. The three components of love are-

1. Intimacy-

This refers to feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness in a relationship. Intimacy develops through mutual self-disclosure, understanding, emotional support, and caring. It is characterized by deep affection, trust, and the ability to confide in and depend on each other. In Sternberg’s theory, intimacy contributes to warmth and stability, fostering a supportive and comfortable environment within a relationship.

Intimacy and Passion (Sternberg, 1986)

2. Passion-

This component involves intense emotional, physical, and often sexual attraction. Passion is what ignites romance, physical attraction, and the desire for sexual activity. It is typically strongest in the early stages of a romantic relationship but can fluctuate over time. Passion drives excitement and arousal in the relationship but does not necessarily contribute to long-term stability unless paired with intimacy or commitment.

Passion and Relationship (Sternberg, 1986)

3. Commitment-

Commitment is the decision to remain together and plan a future with one’s partner, making it the cognitive aspect of Sternberg’s theory. This element stabilizes a relationship over time, embodying loyalty, devotion, and the willingness to maintain the relationship through challenges. Commitment tends to increase gradually as the relationship deepens and is often the most enduring component of love, sustaining the bond when intimacy and passion fluctuate.

Commitment and Relationship (Sternberg, 1986)

8 Types of Love

Each combination of these three components results in a distinct form of love. According to Sternberg, the quality and type of love a person feels depend on the mix of intimacy, passion, and commitment present in the relationship. Here are the different types of love according to this model-

Types of Love (Sternberg, 1986)

1. Nonlove- When a relationship lacks intimacy, passion, and commitment, it falls into the category of nonlove. This kind of relationship could apply to casual acquaintances or strangers.
2. Liking- Liking involves only intimacy. It is common in close friendships where individuals feel a deep connection and warmth but lack romantic passion or long-term commitment. Liking typically involves trust, closeness, and a comfortable rapport without romantic or sexual interest.
3. Infatuated Love- This type of love is based solely on passion. It often describes a “love at first sight” experience, driven by intense attraction and physical desire without emotional closeness or a commitment to the future. Because it lacks intimacy and commitment, infatuated love can be fleeting and may diminish as the excitement wears off.
4. Empty Love- Empty love is characterized by commitment alone. There is no emotional closeness or physical attraction, making it a formal or duty-bound type of love. Empty love may occur in relationships that have endured over time but lost intimacy and passion. In some cases, such as arranged marriages, commitment may exist initially, with intimacy and passion potentially developing later.
5. Romantic Love- Romantic love combines intimacy and passion but lacks commitment. This form of love is characterized by a deep connection and intense attraction, often marking the early stages of a romantic relationship where both physical desire and emotional closeness are strong, but long-term commitment has not yet been established.
6. Companionate Love- This type of love combines intimacy and commitment but lacks the intense passion typical of romantic love. Companionate love is often seen in long-term friendships, family relationships, or long-standing marriages where passion has decreased over time, but the bond remains deep, affectionate, and committed. It offers stability and enduring companionship.
7. Fatuous Love- Fatuous love is based on passion and commitment but lacks intimacy. This type of relationship may develop quickly, with intense attraction and a commitment to be together without fully understanding or knowing each other. Fatuous love often has a whirlwind quality, like a rushed marriage based on attraction alone, and may not be sustainable without developing intimacy.
8. Consummate Love- Consummate love, or “complete love,” is considered the ideal form. It encompasses all three components: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Sternberg argues that consummate love is rare and difficult to maintain, as it requires ongoing effort to keep all three elements in balance. Relationships based on consummate love are often deeply satisfying, as they offer closeness, excitement, and stability. Couples who achieve this form of love and continue nurturing it are likely to experience long-term happiness and fulfillment.

Read More- Marriage and Happiness

Factors Influencing the Balance of Love Components

1. Life Transitions: Changes like career shifts, having children, or facing personal challenges can affect the balance of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Couples may find that focusing on maintaining communication and shared experiences helps them adjust to these transitions.
2. Effort and Intentionality: Sternberg emphasized the need for conscious effort to sustain all aspects of love. Regular expressions of affection, open communication, and shared activities can help partners keep intimacy and passion alive.
3. Personal Growth and Adaptability: Couples who grow together and adapt to each other’s changing needs and personalities are more likely to maintain a balance of intimacy, passion, and commitment.

Empirical Support and Applications of the Theory

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love has garnered empirical support, and many researchers have found that people’s experiences of love align well with this framework (Aron & Westbay, 1996). The theory is widely applicable to different types of relationships, from friendships to romantic partnerships, and provides a useful model for understanding why relationships may thrive or falter. In counseling and therapeutic contexts, the model helps individuals identify which components may need attention, allowing for targeted interventions to strengthen or rekindle love.

Conclusion

Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love offers a nuanced perspective on the complexities of love by focusing on three components—intimacy, passion, and commitment. Different combinations of these elements create a spectrum of love experiences, from friendship to infatuation to the ideal of consummate love. While achieving consummate love is challenging, the model suggests that with intentionality, couples can work to maintain a dynamic balance. The theory continues to be a valuable tool for understanding relationships and guiding couples as they navigate the evolving nature of love.

References